There is only one thing in this life I’ll regret not doing

I am a virgin and I don’t want to die a virgin. I was just twelve years old when I was diagnosed, and they kept telling me I’d get better, but ever since the people from the Last Wish Foundation came I know it’s not possible any more. They sent a minor league pitcher I’d never heard of with an autographed bat and ball for me, but that wasn’t a dream at all. Actually, it was a little awkward and uncomfortable for both of us

Before I go I want to become a real man, and if I’m going to do that I have to get help from people like you guys and pretty quick, otherwise my life will be incomplete.

I think I deserve it this chance. I always take my medicine, I cooperate for all the test and don’t complain about all the pain or when they don’t take care of my bathroom needs, so I should get at least some of the same thing other people get too. They say I won’t be around long enough to date, get married or have kids of my own, but there are a lot of things I want to do while I’m still here.

Don’t I deserve a chance?

You can help me live my dream real quick before I’m gone. I didn’t smoke and get cancer, and I didn’t do drugs and get AIDS. I did nothing to deserve what I live with or the fate it will bring me, so think about helping me. I know some people can do good and some people are treated bad but the Lord works in mysterious ways and everything happens according to His design. If you help me do this you can know it’s okay because He wouldn’t let it happen if it wasn’t His will.

I want to know what it’s like to experience intimate love like an adult. I want to take a whole life of intimacy and experience it and there’s a place I can go to get that. The meals, room, tips and a different companion every day are included in the price, but I need a medical staff to take me down there and back, so I need your help.

It’s not a sin

I know premarital sex is a sin, but as a dedicated, baptized, confirmed Catholic, I’m free to ask for forgiveness and be absolved for my digressions, and I won’t have to die a virgin. It’s okay, and more than okay because I’m still technically a child.

Premarital sex is wrong for a bunch of reasons that don’t apply to me:

1. It’s a sin, but I can get forgiveness. This isn’t a theory, I’ve got the word in writing from the church. Besides, if I die along the way, I’m still a child so I won’t go to hell or even purgatory, thanks to the Vatican’s degree on children and purgatory issued last year.

2. I could catch a deadly disease. I don’t plan to use “protection” if I don’t have to, because most of what I’d catch will be killed right away by my IV antibiotics. I’m not worried about Herpes or crabs because those only affect me and not anybody else, and if I get Hepatitis or AIDS, those don’t kill for ten years at least, compared to my maybe year or so.

3. I should meet girls the old fashioned way. I would if I could, but hooked up to all these machines I can’t go outside to meet them, and girls don’t feel right dating a guy without eyebrows who can’t unhook from these stupid devices. Girls find me a little bit off putting and I’m not very confident around them.

4. Any good girl thinks you should marry them afterwards. I’m not going to tell any lies or give any hope of a future to anybody. I’m going to be honest like always and so it’s not like anybody is under a fake impression or anything.